How This blog has Changed (aka I got lazy)

I realize that I started this blog with the intent to lose weight and get healthy.

But let's admit it, diets and I don't work. I have no problem working out at the gym for hours on end, but I love food, I love my body the way it is, and honestly I need to work on accepting myself as I am before I can change myself.

I'm hitting the bullshit button. I'll never actually stick to a diet. I don't have the self control or motivation. And you know, that's okay. I'm perfectly okay with that.

Maybe if my health goes south, or something bad happens, that will change. But for know, I'm okay with where I am.

How this blog should change:

I need to write, and I need to be okay with sending my work out there, even if it is never completely mine after I hit the submission button.

Besides, my professors don't see me as writing anything amazing or well known. Though, I think I might surprise them, maybe.

Fact.

Fact of life:

Writing the Annotated Bibliography for your exit portfolio makes you realize just how many bad poems you managed to write in four years.

Dear Senator: Honestly?

Here is the link I followed:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/seven-ways-rick-perry-wants-change-constitution-131634517.html

But I just wish to comment on the following statements, Rick Perry:

"6. The federal Constitution should define marriage as between one man and one woman in all 50 states.

Despite saying last month that he was "fine with" states like New York allowing gay marriage, Perry has now said he supports a constitutional amendment that would permanently ban gay marriage throughout the country and overturn any state laws that define marriage beyond a relationship between one man and one woman.

"I do respect a state's right to have a different opinion and take a different tack if you will, California did that," Perry told the Christian Broadcasting Network in August. "I respect that right, but our founding fathers also said, 'Listen, if you all in the future think things are so important that you need to change the Constitution here's the way you do it'.

In an interview with The Ticket earlier this month, Perry spokeswoman Katherine Cesinger said that even though it would overturn laws in several states, the amendment still fits into Perry's broader philosophy because amendments require the ratification of three-fourths of the states to be added to the Constitution."


As for gay marriage, the soul of this country was founded on the basis of freedom and equality for all (at the time, it was equality for all men, but I like to think that we've moved beyond this...) and obviously, taking away someone's rights has nothing to do with protecting freedom. It only has to do with protecting the beliefs of people who believe themselves morally superior to others because of who they love. Honestly, I think the country has a shit load of other things to be concerned with right now, besides treating part of it's population like second-class citizens.

And finally:

7. Abortion should be made illegal throughout the country.

Like the gay marriage issue, Perry at one time believed that abortion policy should be left to the states, as was the case before the 1973 Supreme Court case Roe v. Wade. But in the same Christian Broadcasting Network interview, Perry said that he would support a federal amendment outlawing abortion because it was "so important...to the soul of this country and to the traditional values [of] our founding fathers."

Since when did the founding fathers give a damn about the rights of women to begin with? Fact: They didn't. No matter what Abigail Adams said to her husband, they clearly didn't care. So when it comes to the rights of women we better stay the fuck away from anything the founding fathers believed. When you impose a law on someone's body, you take away their control of their body.

On a personal level, Senator: By removing my right to decide what is right for me, you are saying I do not have the intelligence and the will to decide for myself what is best for my future. Are you really ready to make that assumption about the women of America? I don't care if they believe in the right to choose or not, that is the assumption I see when you take away our rights to having control over our bodies.

And if the statements in this article are wrong or 'under' informed, I apologize...but this would be my reaction to anyone who tries to limit the rights of a group of people, just because they were different. But what defines 'different' is beyond me.

Poem: Seeing

Just a bit of silliness really, inspired by, or all things, a Lady Gaga song...the beat of it, anyway. This will probably change in the future.


Untitled

Let's talk bodies.

The shapes, smells
the sounds they make
click.
click. clickclick.

Let's talk
how bodies become images how images
get noticed how

we want to see ourselves in those images or, how
we see.

Let's talk about how beauty is in images
how bodies corrupt beauty or is it the other way around click.
click.
clickclick.

Let's talk about flat-chested curves
and how a smile changes
how we change our smile.

turn. flip. spray click.

How see how we define
what we see and how the images, yes
how the images change our smiles,
flip our bodies.

Let's talk about beginnings and
being being being
let's talk about how

we see.

Frustration: They Lie On Exercise Machine Labels

Okay, so I have a question to toss out there, which I expect no one can answer. To really lose weight, you need to keep your heart rate up for a certain amount of time whenever you exercise, which should be 3/4 times a week. That heart rate is decided by a number of things, like weight, age, amount of exercise you usually do, etc. Correct?

Well, how the hell am I supposed to tell when my heart rate is up? I stay on a bike for ten minutes and it's over 165. Which isn't even on the handy little scales they show you on the bikes for 'fat burning zone' or 'cardio training zone'.

I mean honestly, since my heart rate is high anyway, and even higher due to the medication I am taking, how am I supposed to know if I'm exercising correctly on the damn annoying machines that give you weggies (is that how you spell weggie? *shrugs* I give up) if you have a somewhat irregular heart rate, but are cleared for physical activity of any sort? Guess!?

The answer: probably should call my doctor's office. Again. The receptionist knows me by the sound of my voice. *sigh*

Because seriously, I did the number calculation crap, and with a max heart rate of 180, my 'high fat burning zone' is 125. I don't even sweat at 125. Another says between 100 and 119? I call bullshit.

Maybe I should go by sweat...if it looks like I am crying, I'm doing good.

A Poem and Such

So I've been writing these little things all summer.

Don't think they are any good, but I like them and the little moments in them. So, thought I'd share

Can we be
flowers?
Daisies to be exact
just flush
white, wonder yellow-hearted center,
always warm.

Can we be
top heavy,
our heads so low that
we really see the ground
and get our petals dirty
because mud is good and cold
and mud-earth is everything...

Can we be a mess of
bending, even breaking stalks of green
that live and die but
always come back,
even when mother rips up roots and spills fire
on our fresh heads,
can we be that brave?

Can we always be white
hope-buds blinking at night,
trying to open too soon
but still always trying
because that is what
people should do?

Homeward Bound

The gym was a good thing. I stayed for nearly two hours and worked my butt off. Need to work on portion control while I am eating though.

In other news, I did a ton of walking this week, just today I will probably walk two miles, along with going to the gym later on today, after picking up my prescriptions and heading over to Gillian's to feed the wonderful and amazing goldfish, which we call Samson.

Next week I'll be home, which means walking in Frenchtown Park, which I haven't done in ages. So excited!

Another great thing about my internship: I get to see dogs. Adorable, cuddle-loving dogs. Life is pretty awesome.